


One Piece: Don't Mess With My Man/Girl

by moonlitinuyasha1985, XFangHeartX



Series: One Piece PETs [173]
Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XFangHeartX/pseuds/XFangHeartX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Tribute to Luffy & Nami. Takes place post-timeskip.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Piece: Don't Mess With My Man/Girl

**One Piece: Don't Mess With My Man**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. This cool series belongs to Ze Great Eiichiro Oda.)

 

 

   "Cat Burglar" Nami and "Straw Hat" Monkey D. Luffy were taking a stroll through an island's village. The latter was eating some dango dumplings they got earlier.

 

 _It was hard to find a brotha that was down for me,_  
_So, I'm tellin' everybody let him be_  
 _Cause he's mine and I can't take no pigeons try'na take my baby_

 

   It wasn't two seconds until trouble started and it wasn't from the marines, this time. As they walked, a young woman passed them by and she raised her sunglasses as she noticed Luffy.

 

"Rawr~!" she purred in a flirtatious manner.

 

Nami quickly took notice and glared at her.

 

 _'She did NOT just do that!'_ she thought.

 

 _'Uh-oh,'_ Luffy thought in dread. _'Here we go again.'_

 

 _So, I thought I had to let you know,_  
_Find someone that you can call your own_  
 _'Cause now you're walkin' in the danger zone_  
 _And if I touch you I'll be wrong_

 

Luffy and Nami tried to walk around the woman, but the latter intercepted the former.

 

"Oh, god," Luffy grumbled. "why me?"

 

"Hey, there, cutie," the woman greeted. "wanna have some fun?"

 

"I'm with my girlfriend," Luffy answered. "Please go away."

 

"Best do as he says," Nami advised, trying not to blow her top. "Beat it. NOW."

 

 _If you mess with my man,_  
_I'ma be the one to bring it to ya_  
 _Got my girls, got my man,_  
 _So, find your own and leave mine alone_

 

The woman only glared at Nami.

 

"And if I don't?" she questioned.

 

"Oh, no," Luffy muttered. "Not again."

 

_Don't mess with my man,  
I'ma be the one to break it to ya_

 

Nami growled angrily, grabbed the woman by her neck, and gave her a death glare.

 

"Last warning," Nami growled. "GET LOST."

 

_Here's a little advice for you: Find your own man_

 

The woman gasped as Nami let her go and then she scurried away in fear.

 

"Hmph." Nami huffed. "That's what I thought."

 

"Thanks, Nami." Luffy spoke.

 

"Uh-huh," Nami muttered. "now, let's keep going."

 

"Right." Luffy nodded.

 

_It was hard to find a girl that's really down for me  
Seems like a lot of guys tryin' me_

 

   Later on, the two of them went out shopping and this time, it was Luffy's turn to be jealous. Luffy was busy looking for clothes he thought looked cool on him.

 

"Hmm," he hummed, inquisitively. "should I get the Saru T-Shirt or the 56 T-Shirt?"

 

He looked between them before sighing.

 

"Nami's way better at picking clothes than me," he admitted. "hey, Nami? Which shirts do you think look good on me?"

 

As he turned to face Nami, he saw her being flirted on my some tall guy...and she was clearly not interested.

 

_Cause they try'na take my baby,  
Oh, what the hell no_

 

The moment the guy grabbed Nami's wrist was when Luffy snapped.

 

"HEY, BUDDY!!!!" he yelled. "GET YOUR SLIMY PAWS OFF HER!!!!"

 

 _So, now, you really better check yourself_  
_Messin' with my girl is bad for your health and_  
 _So, you know you will be dealt with_  
 _Better find your own girl_

 

"And just who the hell are you, talking all kinds of trash?" asked the guy.

 

"I'm 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy, that's who," Luffy answered, cracking his knuckles. "And if you don't back away from my girl, I will break every bone in your body!"

 

_If you mess with my girl,  
I'ma be the one to bring it to ya_

 

"Psh!" the guy scoffed. "You don't scare me!"

 

"Bad move, dude." Nami told him.

 

Luffy grabbed the guy by the face and began to squeeze.

 

_Got my boys, got my girl,  
So, find your own and leave mine alone_

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!!!" the guy screamed. "LET GO!!! LET ME GO!!!!"

 

"Not until you promise to stay away from Nami," Luffy responded.

 

"YES, OKAY!!! I PROMISE!!!!" the guy told him. "I WON'T EVER BOTHER HER AGAIN!!!!"

 

"Thank you," Luffy said...before he threw him out the window! "now, get out of my sight, chump."

 

_Don't mess with my girl,  
I'ma be the one to break it to ya_

 

"Wasn't throwing him out the window a little overboard?" Nami asked as she walked over to Luffy.

 

"Whatever," Luffy replied, picking his ear. "he's just lucky that I didn't beat him into next week."

 

"I guess," Nami muttered. "wanna continue shopping?"

 

"Yup," Luffy answered.

 

_Here's a little advice for you: Find your own girl_

 

They continued shopping for another 10 minutes before they made their purchases and left. However, yet another woman tried flirting with Luffy.

 

 _'The hell?!'_ Nami mentally questioned.

 

 _Girl, I'm warning you, (Girl, I'm warning you)_  
_If you want my man, (If you want my man)_  
 _You should just keep your hands to yourself, now-now (Ohh, ooh, ohh...)_

 

Naturally, Luffy was embarrassed.

 

"L-Listen, lady," he began, nervously. "I have a girlfriend, so please just leave."

 

"Aww, what's wrong?" the woman asked. "Don't you wanna have any fun?"

 

"Not with you!" Luffy answered. "Nami, save me!"

 

"Gladly," Nami hissed as she cracked her knuckles.

 

She pounced on the woman and gave her the smack-down of her life. She even tore off the woman's hair, revealing it to be a wig!

 

"Holy crap, she's was wearing a wig!" Luffy exclaimed in shock. "I got hit on by a chick in a wig!"

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!" the woman screamed.

 

"Um...okay..." Nami muttered. "Awkward."

 

Either way, she and Luffy left to continue their walk. They stopped by the park on their way and Luffy decided to get him and Nami some ice cream.

 

"What flavor would you like?" the ice cream vendor asked.

 

"Chocolate for me and tangerine sherbet for my girlfriend," Luffy answered.

 

"Coming right up!" the ice cream vendor said.

 

As Luffy waited, another guy tried to hit on Nami and this one was a bit more muscular than the last guy.

 

 _'Why do all these chumps keep coming after me?'_ Nami thought in annoyance.

 

No sooner did she think this, Luffy came over.

 

 _'Oh, thank goodness for Luffy!'_ she mentally exclaimed.

 

 _And playa, I'm warning you,_  
_If you want my girl,_  
 _I suggest that you look but don't touch, now-now_  
 _(I suggest you, oh...yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...)_

 

With one punch, Luffy knocked the guy out.

 

"Thank you, Luffy," Nami said. "Seriously, what is going on today?!"

 

"I don't know!" Luffy answered. "All I know is that it's annoying!!"

 

"You think that this will continue for the rest of the day?" inquired Nami.

 

"God, I hope not," Luffy muttered. "I don't know how much more I can take."

 

_It was hard to find a brotha that was down for me,  
Don't mess with my man_

 

After getting their ice cream, they sat on a bench, enjoying their delicious frozen treats. Luffy ate his too fast and got brain freeze.

 

"Ow~!" he cried. "My brain!"

 

"Told you not to eat so fast," Nami reminded.

 

"But, it's so good!" Luffy whined.

 

Nami rolled her eyes and shook her head.

 

_It's hard to find a girl that's really down for me,  
Don't mess with my girl_

 

 _'What am I gonna do with that baka?'_ she thought.

 

She smiled before petting his head and Luffy returned that smile.

 

_Hard to find a brotha that was down for me,  
Don't mess with my man_

 

After that, they started to head back.

 

_So hard to find a girl that's down for me,  
Don't mess with my girl_

 

As they walked, one woman made a wolf whistle at Luffy.

 

 _'Just ignore her, just ignore her,'_ Luffy thought. _'I'm sure she's just whistling at some other guy.'_

 

Unfortunately, he could not be more wrong.

 

"Hey, hot stuff!" the lady called. "How about you turn that straw hat head of yours my way?"

 

"...Fuck..." Luffy cursed silently.

 

 _If you mess with my man,_  
_(If you mess with my man)_  
 _I'ma be the one to bring it to ya_  
 _Got my girls, got my man,_  
 _(I'm gonna be the one)_  
 _So, find your own and leave mine alone_  
 _(You better believe it...)_

 

Nami growled angrily as the woman approached.

 

 _'This is really starting to piss me off!'_ she shouted in her mind.

 

_Don't mess with my man,  
I'ma be the one to break it to ya_

 

"Look, you!" Nami shouted at the woman. "Either you walk away right now, or I send you flying with a boot up your ass! Your choice!!"

 

_Here's a little advice for you: Find your own man_

 

"I'd do what she says if I were you!" Luffy cried. "Trust me!"

 

However, the woman did not heed his warnings, thus leading to Nami snapping.

 

"THAT'S IT!!!" she shouted. "GET OVER HERE!!!"

 

"I can't watch," Luffy muttered, covering his eyes. "let me know when it's over, Nami!"

 

"You got it," Nami responded.

 

The fight was over in less than 15 seconds.

 

"You can look, now," Nami told Luffy. "It's over."

 

Luffy uncovered his eyes and gasped.

 

"DEAR GOD!!!!" he cried.

 

The woman was in a bruised and bloodied pulp.

 

"Jesus, Nami!" Luffy cried. "Couldn't you have held back just a little bit?"

 

Nami just walked passed him, flicking her hair behind her head.

 

"I'll take that as a no," Luffy spoke, following after his fiance. "Sheesh!"

 

 _If you mess with my girl (Yeah),_  
_I'ma be the one to bring it to ya (Baby, I'ma--ohh, yeah)_  
 _Got my boys, got my girl,_  
 _So, find your own and leave mine alone (You, you, you, you)_

 

As if that wasn't bad enough, yet another guy decided to try and flirt with Nami.

 

"Oh, for the love of..." Nami muttered as she face-palmed.

 

The chump was soon met with an outstretched fist to the jaw.

 

 _Don't mess with my girl,_  
_I'ma be the one to break it to ya (Ohh, ye-yeah...)_  
 _Here's a little advice for you: Find your own girl_

 

"Bastard," Luffy cursed.

 

 _(If you mess) If you mess with my man,_  
_(With my man)_  
 _I'ma be the one to bring it to ya_  
 _(I'm gonna be the one)_  
 _Got my girls, got my man,_  
 _So, find your own and leave mine alone (Leave him alone)_

 

Soon, they finally managed to get back to the _Sunny_.

 

"Home Sweet Home!" Nami exclaimed.

 

 _Don't mess with my man,_  
_I'ma be the one to break it to ya._  
 _Here's a little advice for you: Find your own man_  
 _(Find your own man...)_

 

"Finally," Luffy spoke. "today was just crazy."

 

"Yeah," Nami agreed. "I'm just glad it's over."

 

_If you mess with my girl,  
I'ma be the one to bring it to ya..._

 

"I tell ya, I don't how much more I could take!" Luffy added.

 

"Me, either!" Nami concurred.

 

"Why'd God make us so damn sexy?!" Luffy questioned.

 

"I suppose it's both a gift and a curse," Nami answered. "kinda similar to devil fruits."

 

"I guess," Luffy spoke. "anyhow, let's just head on over to the next island."

 

"Right," Nami concurred with a nod. "Hopefully, there won't be anymore horn-dogs there."

 

"Please, let that be so." Luffy pleaded.

 

Bottom Line: Do no mess with either 'Straw Hat' or 'Cat Burglar'. You...will...REGRET IT.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this was meant to be a tribute to Inuyasha & Kagome, because this song also fits them to a T.
> 
>  
> 
> It was going to take place somewhere during the future events of _Opposites Attract_.
> 
>  
> 
> Though, Fang pointed out that "Don't Mess With My Man/Girl" also fits Nami and Luffy. In the end, I went with Lu and Nami.


End file.
